Stephen Jackson, please leave your gun at home

Pac Man Jones is back at it again. The suspended Tennessee Titan got in to trouble again at a strip club. No, not for making it rain, but for punching a woman (who is also a defense attorney) at the club in the face. If hitting a woman wasn’t bad enough, it was apparently a suckerpunch. Oh, and Randy Moss was slapped with a restraining order after he was accused of assaulting a woman. It gave us here at Giving 111 Percent the idea that we should turn the tables. Athletes go around abusing common folk. What if it were the other way around? So here we are, with our top ten sports figures we’d most love to punch in the face without any repercussions (feel free to give us your list or criticize ours in the comments section):

This list could encompass about half of the New England Patriot and Boston Red Sox lineups if we so chose. You could really just pick about anyone from those teams: Teddy Bruschi, Rodney Harrison, Jonathan Papelbon, Curt Schilling etc. etc. But to make it a bit harder, here is our top five without those two teams:

10. Tony Stewart – Yup that’s right. A NASCAR reference. He is a real idiot though.
9. Shannon Sharpe – Doesn’t he just seem to be a complete jerk on the NFL Pregame show? Granted, even if the punch was without repercussions, we’d still sprint out of there.
8. Reggie Miller – Sure, some of it’s for all the pain he’s caused. But honestly, maybe we could fix his teeth.
7. Joakim Noah – Anyone who watched college basketball during the two year stretch when Florida won back to back titles understands this.
6. Tim McCarver – His baseball “analysis” keeps getting worse and worse. We just found this site (http://www.shutuptimmccarver.com). This is his quote of the year on the site: “If you leadoff and you play every day, you’re guaranteed to bat with the bases empty at least 162 times.” Punching him would be fun for just listening to what statement he throws out after getting clocked.
5. Isiah Thomas – Does this need any explanation? The only negative is that after getting popped, he’d probably still have that annoying smirk on his face.
4. The 2004 Indiana Pacers – Sure the Detroit crowd provoked them. But this is for the fans who were wrongly hit…like the guy Artest goes after, while the guy who threw the drink stands by and watches. We still can’t believe this happened. You gotta watch it again. To think professional athletes lost it like this, and fans just got wrapped up in it as well, it’s lucky no one died that night. So here’s your chance kid crying at the end of the clip, or the first guy mauled by Artest that didn’t actually throw the drink, for revenge.




3. Jose Canseco – Someone just needs to knock him on his ass. He ratted out a lot of people juicing in the steroid era for his own personal gain.
2. Greg Paulus – Pat is thrilled that Syracuse didn’t get him in an Orange uniform (Paulus is from the Syracuse area). He is quite possibly the most annoying player in college basketball. It’s always easy to hate on the scrappy little white guard. But Paulus’ flopping, constant whining at every turn, and groping of his teammates at each stoppage of play is just too much. I had already decided on Paulus before last night. But now, after punching him, you’d have a shot at four other Dukies running over frantically. And maybe you can throw in a slap of Coach K for all his terrible commercials – does he really need the extra cash? And they aren’t funny…so why does he keep shooting them?
1. Bill Belichick – We said we wouldn’t include New England lineups. But their coach is a separate entity. No one bothers us more than this man. Pat is 99 percent certain that he is satan. His glare into the camera at press conferences is unbelievably cold. And he dresses like a homeless man. And he cheats. And he’s a huge ____ ...yea you can fill in the blank. Boy, that punch would be sweet.

We ain't talkin bout Mexico City, we talkin 'bout Cabo!

If you haven't seen or heard about the Terrell Owens interview after the Cowboys lost to the Giants on Sunday, it has been all over ESPN and other media outlets. After the obligatory thank you sent to God, T.O. continues on to the most referenced part, as he breaks down and begs the media not to criticize Tony Romo for taking four days off to go to Mexico with girlfriend Jessica Simpson (starting at around 1:40). He hilariously starts sniffling and saying, "he's my teammate...my quarterback." Thankfully, he's wearing a pair of those sunglasses that cover half one's face, a favorite of Northface wearing collegiate females these days. While the quick 30-second crying outburst was surely amazing, what really stuck out for us was something that he said later in the longer clip of the interview (which can be seen below):

"I've always had good relationships with quarterbacks...I always know what type of person I am on the inside." (at 6:05)



While Andrew takes joy in seeing T.O. bounced from the playoffs, Pat has somewhat of a soft spot in his heart for the wide receiever. Pat can't help but enjoy his earnest remarks and the never-ending tragedy of errors that he provides all of us. But this quote isn't earnest, it's just hilariously ridiculous. Maybe T.O. is a reformed man after his near death overdose.

But honestly, what's next? M.C. Hammer declaring that he's always been good at managing his money? John Rocker claiming that subways have always been his perferred method of transportation? It's nice to see T.O. defending his quarterback instead of throwing him under a bus for once, but does he think that we're all going to forget him exploding at Donovan McNabb or suggesting that Jeff Garcia was gay? When he flips out on the sideline, has to be restrained by coaches and blows every gasket possible in the general direction of his quarterback, is “inside Terrell” just being kind?

Owens has never gotten along with a quarterback despite playing with some pretty good ones, and it feels like it's only a matter of time before Romo feels his wrath. Or, maybe, he's that changed man. Anyways, we just can't wait to see what's next. Getcha popcorn ready.

• Another great tidbit from the chippy Giants-Cowboys game:

Brandon Jacobs has broken out as a running back, rushing for over 1,000 yards this season despite missing five games and parts of two others. However, he has also become a pretty entertaining trash talker. He and Cowboys receiver Patrick Crayton have been exchanging barbs all season through the media, and after the Giants win, Jacobs made sure to pile it on: “The Cowboys are a great football team. They might have had a chance to win if Patrick Crayton didn't drop the two key passes.”

Earlier in the year, Crayton had commented on how Jacobs talked a lot of trash but didn’t truly back it up, and also how the Giants were either scared of the Cowboys or trying to talk themselves into believing they could beat Dallas.

Jacobs provided the gem of the sparring earlier this season after Crayton boasted that the Cowboys were on a different level than the Giants.
“It’s unfair for him to say that,” Jacobs responded. “He sucks, first of all.”

This is really great stuff…even if Jacobs hasn’t truly established himself as a star, there’s no reason for him to tolerate any trash Patrick Crayton throws his way. Jacobs is slowly developing into a must watch player. Not for his running, which is indeed entertaining, but more-so for quotes like these and absurd clumsy touchdowns celebrations like this (sorry for the awful quality and the d-bag Patriots fan at the beginning):



• Who’s messing around with the ESPN ticker?

The only thing more absurd than the Terrell Owens post-game press conference was the bottom line scrolling on the ESPN screen. In case you somehow missed it, a score briefly flashed by that stated: Detroit 58, NY 85. Was it the Shock and the Liberty? No?! It was the Isiah Thomas led New York Knicks walloping the Pistons as the game wrapped up with the Knicks routing Detroit 89-65! Granted, the Pistons had played four games in five nights, but at this point, we’re willing to take anything. What a shocker. One can only imagine how big the victory would have been with an appearance by team leader Stephon Marbury. Too bad the one time the Knicks actually do something positive, it’s completely overshadowed.

The Best Commercial that Never Was

We’ve all seen the Coors Light commercials that use footage of interviews with NFL coaches mixed with questions posed by “reporters” asking questions about Coors Light. We’ve also all seen the video of Oklahoma State Coach Mike Gundy’s rant at the media after an article was published that criticized one of his players(in case you haven’t, it’s posted below). Unfortunately, Gundy is not an NFL coach so it won’t be turned into a Coors Light commercial. If it were, however, this is what I imagine it would be like.

Coors Light guy 1: Hey coach, what do you say to people who say all light beers taste the same?
Gundy: That ain’t true!
Coors Light Guy 2(pointing at Guy 1): His girlfriend criticizes him for watching too much football and drinking too much Coors Light.
Gundy: You don’t downgrade him cause he does everything right!
Coors Light Guy 1: Coach, you know the newspaper didn’t say anything about Coors Light’s great taste?
Gundy: That’s why I don’t read the newspaper!! Because it’s garbage.
Coors Light Guy 2: You know some tailgate parties have other beers, and not Coors Light?
Gundy: Are you kidding me? Where are we at in society today?
Coors Light Guy 1: Coach, how many ice cold Coors Lights do you drink at a tailgate?
Gundy: 40!
Coors Light Guy 1: 40? Wow.
Gundy: I’m a man!
Coors Light Guy 2: Well, what happens when you drink a beer that’s not a Coors Light?
Gundy: It makes me want to puke.



By Andrew Vitelli

What are those marijuana leaves doing on Ohio State's helmets?

We here at Giving 111 Percent constantly debate with our friends and family about sports. One of those we love arguing with is Drew DiSalvo, who is Pat’s older brother, and a Red Sox fan. He’s a New York City Park Ranger and an avid sports fan. Once in while he’ll bring his rants to the blog…when he’s not busy ticketing rowdy dog owners or chasing squirrels and pigeons.


When Ohio State's kicker, Ryan Pretorius, lined up for his 1st quarter field goal attempt last night against LSU in the BCS title game, I couldn't help but notice the exorbitant number of helmet stickers he had. It wasn't so much that I didn't think he was good - he ended up converting the 25-yard attempt, and although he later had a 38-yard attempt blocked, he did hit 81% of his attempts for the season with a long of 50 - it was just a surprise that a kicker of all position players could amass such a sticker collection. Was the Ohio State coaching staff giving him a sticker for every extra point he hit or every time he got a touchback on a kickoff? Well, it turns out there is a very specific criteria to the awarding of these helmet stickers, or buckeye leaves as they are known to the Ohio State faithful.



The following website explains the whole awarding of the stickers...and it's quite a formula. Some of the main achievements that will give a Buckeye a leaf are: wins, meeting film grade standards, big plays, defensive scores, forcing and recovering fumbles, and my personal favorite - the FG/XP team displaying 100% Mechanics as a whole for any attempt.


So no need to fret bench players; everyone gets a leaf after an Ohio State victory! And not every buckeye leaf is specifically stat driven, as after each game Coach Tressel does get to award a “Big Play in Football Game” sticker to any player. I have a pretty good feeling that after the 1990 Hall of Fame bowl game against Auburn, Ohio State’s then-head coach John Cooper gave Zack Dumas a leaf for this big play, even if Auburn did end up winning the game, 31-14.


So, what’s a Buckeye and why does it have leaves? Well, you guessed it, the Ohio Buckeye, or Aesculus glabra, is the state tree of Ohio. Or maybe you didn’t guess that, as not everyone has a vast knowledge of flora like me. Anyway, Native Americans thought the trees’ nuts resembled buck’s eyes, and the rest is history. The tradition of helmet stickers, believe it or not, began with the Buckeyes. Former Ohio State head coach Woody Hayes, along with the help of trainer Ernie Biggs, devised the idea back in 1968. Since then, quite a few teams have jumped on the bandwagon, while many others (Penn State and Notre Dame) have vehemently disagreed with such actions that they feel stress individual-over-team performance as well as tamper with the tradition and history of the game. Here’s a look at some of the more recognizable, and a few obscure, helmet stickers, many of which popped up this past bowl season…


Florida State


If their team name and the arrowhead on the helmet weren’t offensive enough, the Seminoles chose tomahawks as their helmet stickers. Somewhere a Native American is shaking his head in disbelief. Florida State is also one of the few schools that actually can take away stickers, for such gaffes as missing assignments, first down penalties, and general laziness…or maybe participating in a massive cheating operation.





Hawaii

With over 4,000 yards passing and 38 TD passes, you've got to wonder how Colt Brennan didn't run out of helmet space half way through the 2007-2008 season. And in case you were wondering, the sticker is a warrior helmet with two interlocking spears beneath it.

Georgia

Georgia players are awarded bones for valiant play, just the type of thing that their bulldog mascot, Uga VI, loves to sink his teeth into...unlike the dogs at Auburn, who chew on their own players.

Purdue
The Boilermakers have recently changed their helmet stickers. When they first started awarding them, each sticker was of the train from their logo, but now they are the infamous hammer of mascot, Purdue Pete. I'm not a genius, but I'd have to guess getting hit by a train would probably be more damaging than a whack from a hammer.



Louisiana-Lafayette

Although they ended ’07 in the bottom half of the Sun Belt conference, the Ragin’ Cajuns do win the award for coolest helmet sticker, a Cajun pepper! What makes this helmet sticker even more special is that it’s taken straight from the apostrophe in the Ragin’ Cajun logo on the side of the helmet. UL-Lafayette’s jersey uniformity I love, their consistent out-of-conference results this year (0-5), eh not so much.

- Drew DiSalvo

Giving 111 Percent's own National Championship

#3 LSU Tigers vs. #5 USC Trojans
On the eve of the BCS "National Championship" game between Ohio State and LSU, we here at Giving 111 Percent are announcing the winner of our own national championship game. Over the past few weeks, we've seeded teams and matched them up in an 8-team playoff tournament. In just a chaotic way as the BCS, we've decided which two teams will be represented in the title game. In our playoffs, LSU (the 3 seed) faced USC (the 5 seed).

LSU squeaked out a win against Oklahoma, and then walloped VT to reach the title game. USC beat Georgia by 10 and then slipped by Missouri.

As expected, this game was close and exciting to watch. The teams were evenly matched. Heading into the bowl season, LSU was 11-2 and USC was 10-2. LSU averaged 448 yards per game, while USC gained an average of 418. The Trojans gave up 259 yards per game, while the Tigers gave up 283.

Such a matchup between equally great teams came down to the last play. As USC went to the air in a quick passing attack against the LSU defense, LSU answered with its dual quarterback threat. Trojan QB John David Booty tallied numerous scores, but the Tigers' Matt Flynn led LSU through the air, while SEC Championship game MVP Ryan Perrilloux gave USC fits by running from the QB position.
The game was back and forth all night long until the USC offense finally wilted under the Tiger pressure. With the strong LSU defensive line breaking through a tired Trojan offensive line, Booty was forced into rushing a throw, which was intercepted by strong safety Craig Steltz, who entered the game tied for 12th in the nation with 6 regular season picks.

Steltz brought the ball down to the Trojan 20 yard line, where Perrilloux and RB Jacob Hester pounded the ball down into field goal range and ran the clock down for a time expiring FG

FINAL SCORE: LSU 38, USC 35

...Now if the BCS could only adopt such a playoff (a 4-team one is much more feasible), we could stop doing simulations like this and actually determine a true national champion.

Who'll Stop the Reign?

The Patriots, on bye this week, are the favorites to win Super Bowl XXLI after completing the first 16-0 season in NFL history. Which teams have a chance to beat them? Here are the five teams who have the best shot.

5. Green Bay Packers
Tom Brady received 49 of 50 NFL MVP votes. The other one went to Brett Favre, who is the one reason not to count out the Packers as Super Bowl contenders. With the breakout season by running back Ryan Grant, they are no longer one dimensional. The Packers have to be on this list just for what kind of storylines a Favre-Brady Super Bowl would have.

4. Jacksonville Jaguars
It’s almost hard to believe that this team is as good as it is. David Garrard has thrown 18 touchdowns and only three interceptions. Fred Taylor and Maurice Jones Drew combine to give the Jaguars one of the best running attacks in the league. It’s hard to see Garrard beating Brady in a shootout, which any Patriots playoff game is likely to become. If the Jaguars can get an early lead, however, they have the type of offense that can hold it.

3. Dallas Cowboys
Want a team that can win a shootout? Tony Romo has as many weapons at his disposal as any quarterback in the league not named Tom Brady. Terrell Owens and Jason Witten are good enough to give any defense fits. And Tony Romo isn’t holding for field goals anymore. The biggest doubt, however, is whether the Cowboys defense can stop Brady and the Patriots offense. In their regular season meeting, Brady tore the Cowboys apart in the second half, turning the game into a blowout.

2. San Diego Chargers
Last January, the Patriots came into San Diego and upset the 14-2 Chargers. The Chargers would love to even the score this year. The Chargers have to be the least predictable team in the league, sometimes looking like legit contenders and sometimes looking like a team that doesn’t know how to win. I would not be surprised to see them lose tomorrow. At the same time, they have as much talent as almost anyone and are a team no one wants to catch when they are hot.

1. Indianapolis Colts
This is the game football fans have wanted all year. When the two teams played during the regular season, it was billed as Super Bowl XXL and a half. Peyton used a career-defining second half comeback to beat the Pats on the way to the Super Bowl last year. Since the Pats won the regular season meeting, the Colts will have to beat the unbeaten Patriots at Foxborough. With receiver Marvin Harrison hurt, Peyton doesn’t have nearly the plethora of options that Brady does. When these teams play, it’s always a good game and it’s hard to believe they won’t meet again this post-season.

By Andrew Vitelli

Getting back into it

Hey all, sorry for the down-time on the blog - between the holidays, work and so forth, it's been a bit of a busy time. That being said, we're going to try to get the flow back. Therefore, here are some of my thoughts in the past week or so of sports:

The Bowl Season has not been too impressive, especially the two BCS bowls so far. Illinois showed that while it had a nice bounce-back season, they were not BCS bowl ready. It would have been nice to see another team match up with a strong USC team. And Hawaii did not challenge Georgia at all. Although they were a feel good story that by going undefeated deserved a BCS bowl bid, the only thing that Hawaii impressed me with was the number of fans the school brought to New Orleans. It's just hard to really get fired up about these games when they are occurring a month after the regular season ended. With such a long layoff, college football almost becomes an afterthought by now.

The Outdoor Hockey game in Buffalo was outstanding on a day of somewhat boring football (excluding the Michigan-Florida game and UVA-Texas Tech game). Granted, I only watched some of the game, but what a spectacle. Packing in 71,000 fans into Ralph Wilson was great to see. I went up there early in the NFL season to see the Jets play the Bills, and while I'm not sure I can say too much about the city as a whole, those Buffalonians sure can tailgate. And they were at it again in the snow for a hockey game.

The Patriots are just infuriating. It looked like they weren't going to be perfect this season several times. But they just always find a way to squeak out games. While the Giants lost a tough game, by going toe-to-toe with the Pats should give them confidence that they can get through a mediocre NFC playoff field. As for the Pats, it looks as if teams are finding ways to get to them. But it probably doesn't mean anything. They'll just tease teams into thinking they have a chance and then will beat those teams.

College Basketball is starting to get going for real, as conference play is starting. My squad, Syracuse, faces St. John's tonight. Although the NFL will steal most of the spotlight for the next few weeks, this should be a great basketball season. There are several great teams, including Memphis, UNC, Kansas, UCLA and so forth. Each seem as if they could be number one teams in years past. And with a fabulous freshmen class, I really think this is going to be one of the wilder and more intriguing college basketall seasons of recent years.

-Pat

Photos: si.com